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I raise you brussels sprouts:
I’ll see your Brussels Sprouts, and raise you Cashews:
Aren’t the tops edible too? I wonder how the little shriveled bean thing on the end became internationally popular but the juicy looking fruit on top isn’t. Like, every cashew harvested has to have the fruity part too, what do they all get used for?
They’re called cashew apples. You can find them at asian and latin grocery stores sometimes. Never had one, but i hear they are tasty, they’re hard to transport, though, so you have to be in the right areas to find them.
Cashew juice is very tasty and it’s quite popular here in brazil. It also has medicinal properties for when you have diarrhea.
They’re not great. But you can make decent jam from them.
Maybe they are not as fit for exporting or selling so the more profitable parts get sent to US instead?
I can’t believe you just spent an hour hotgluing brussel sprouts to a small tree just to trick people on the internet
I even traveled all the way to brussels to get them just for this prank.
Brussels can only be called brussels if they’re from the brussels region of france, otherwise it’s just sparkling wine
Peanuts:
Yes, they grow underground like potatoes.
Well but they aren’t roots, they’re from a stem that goes back under.
I see your brussels sprouts and raise you pineapples:
and they are primitive versions of grasses, POALES.
Fuck. Im in a hot area but not zone 10-12 hot.
They may do best there, but I think there is wiggle room, at least for small scale cultivation.
My dad used to grow them in 9a and they grew pretty well. But they need to be covered up or brought in overnight if it’s going to get too cold.
Maybe a greenhouse would work?
Damn. You beat me to it.
Uh… you’re welcome?
Wtf no way this is real
EDIT: whoa
Yea I wasn’t sure how I thought they grew, but I never would have guessed that. I saw them at the supermarket on the stem and I was like wtf
and these are all related to cabbages, cauliflowers, broccoli too, they come from the same species.
And the violet one tastes great:
And here I always thought they grew like tiny cabbages
they are cultivars of the same species. cabbages, broccili, cauliflowers, brussel sprouts,etc. Brassica oleracea, also includes kale and collard greens
bok choi, napa cabbages are from a related species, similar bred.
Wait until you hear how closely related they are to cabbages
Everything’s brassica!
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Brussels sprouts are unreal
You can buy them like that in a grocer though. Shit for fridge space.
Yea I’ve only seen them once though. Usually they are sold pretrimmed in a bag, in the US at least.
I’ve seen markets sell brussels sprouts on the stalk but I didn’t know it had leaves.
I figured the leaves were the brussels sprouts,
Thanks for the info.
On another branch of that family tree, those leaves are kale.
Not even another branch - it’s the same exact species, just a different cultivar
selected for increased leaf growth over the flowers.
First time I saw them I felt like someone was playing a massive prank on me… in a random supermarket, by putting clearly alien veggies in the veggie section
they are buds of the flowering part. we eat the flowering parts mostly, like broccoli, cauliflower.
I should find out how this stuff grows. I have no idea how broccoli and cauliflower grow.
Thanks for the info.
You could have given me a million guesses and I wouldn’t have arrived at that!
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If you want them to remain white, you have to cover them in earth, the farmers make ridges of earth to cover them:
Why would you want them to remain white?
Because they are delicious that way!
Freshly cooked with egg, ham and butter sauce they are very good. It’s called 'white gold’in the Netherlands.
because racism
White gold
The only way I’ve seen white asparagus is in glass jars with brine and those are disgusting.
Freshly cooked with egg, ham and butter sauce they are very good.
But pickled asparagus is delicious!
I’ve never understood this meme. Like what did you expect them to look like, and why is this apparently alarming?
I expected them to hang off a central stalk. Or perhaps grow like corn, where there’s a more plant-looking plant growing with the asparagus inside it.
never really thought about it
I’m a breastparagus man myself
Dad that’s gross, geez!
Would you expect them to grow on a vine like beans or something?
Bunched together or with leaves around them was my assumption, not individually like someone just bought some and stuck them in the ground.
Didn’t know we harvested them as baby plants.
Oh no that’s not even them as babies. That’s like two years in.
This is baby asparagus. It takes forever to develop to actual asperagus stage.
It takes several years, many seasons, much sun and rain for such a magnificent vegetable to grow to maturity and be ripe for the harvest.
Unfortunately it tastes like ass, has the texture of twine and makes your piss stink.
Vile weed.
I just need to know if you’ve given properly sautéed asparagus in olive oil and garlic a chance. If you’re basing this on mom’s boiled mush you need to give it a second chance.
Also I personally find it funny when I get to piss stinky piss. Like farts for my dick!
I tried many ways, my most successful was asparagus with a drizzle of olive oil, salt and pepper and a light dusting of Parmesan cheese. Put it in the broiler until the cheese gets a tan. Finish with a tiny sprinkle of really fancy balsamic vinegar.
While it was an improvement, the texture was still not something I ever found acceptable.
Also, if you’re using asparagus for smelly dick jokes, I am willing to withdraw my judgement.
Sweet recipe, I believe I’ve had it that way too. You have indeed stress tested asparagus.
Have you thought about getting a urinary tract infection? They make your urine smell extra funny!
Added to bucket list.
You fucking what? Say that to my face
4 years isn’t it? I looked into it back in the 90s, decided hell no. LOL, it was suggested to dig a 4’ deep trench to plant them.
That’s probably right. I think they become recognizable as asperagus around 2 years in. We had some, about two years in when were in a mobile home park. Swapped owners so they hired new lawn keepers… who fucking killed them right when they were almost harvestable god I was so mad.
The greenhouses around me sell matured asparagus roots. Don’t have to wait this way.
They grew wild up and down the ditch next to my dadas house when I was a kid - as weird to see just tons of asparagus every year
It’s extremely low maintenance once it establishes though which is nice.
I’m sorry, I’m still in awe that anyone would hear that asparagus needs two years to grow enough for a viable harvest and still think it’s worth doing
Well it takes 2 years to grow, but the harvest is in the 3rd year, at least when I’ve done it. It’s a perennial with minimal maintenance aside from weeding & water
It’s not that crazy honestly. Fruit trees take even longer.
Wait… How do we know that someone didn’t just buy some and stuck them in the ground to make us think that this is how they grow?
Asperger = asparagus brings me happy memories of fooling around with this therms, I’m asparagus.
Somewhat related story; my middle name is Peter, and I had seemingly misheard it, as for the first 6 years of my life I thought my middle name was pizza.
if you seen agave and aloe blooming, its because they are in the same orders, thts why thier blooms looks giant asparagus shoots.
Asperagus blooming:
Don’t google what Hans Asparagus did to disabled kids!
And don’t look up his friend, Pauli Broccoli. I’ve heard he’s even worse.
So someone bought asparagus from the market, stuck it in the ground, took a picture, and it’s indistinguishable from the real thing?
Otherwise it’s surely not a shitpost
