I really thought this was going to be a satire post about the Yemen bombing Signal chat group leak based off the reddit title.
Thought at first that its a meme about the signal groupchat that was leaked currently and then read its discord and its 1 year old.
If the contents of my friends’ group chat got leaked… people would just think we’re fucking idiots, not terrible people.
Good work, Derek. Be better, losers in that chat.
derek is still a cunt though. If you join and find shit you don’t like the first thing you should do is confront people. Either derek just likes causing people problems (and is a problematic individual) or he is not very bright and thinks that everything people say must be 100% true and serious.
I would not ever want to be friends with derek, that’s for sure.
Derek is a decent person, so you don’t have to worry about that.
How would you feel if you invited a few people to your home and then found out one of them secretly recorded audio the entire time? That’s the equivalent of screenshotting messages in a small group chat.
Unless you were literally planning crimes, the actual content of the conversation is irrelevant to the principle.
Using your same metaphor, if you came to another person’s house and all they did was shit on their family, and then make dark jokes about killing them - is it all fun and games until something bad happens?
There are lines. You don’t know what Derek saw.
But apparently it was so bad that a lot of people are really disgusted at the core group.
that’s true, but judging by this thread people are also really sensitive about this kind of shit, so it wouldn’t take very much for people to get pissed off like this.
Yeah, I’m one of those people. I have this apparently strange sensitivity to people sharing intimate photos of others without their consent or knowledge. Feels very exploitative. I’m just one of those people who doesn’t like to sit back and let people hurt others like that for the lols of a group chat.
weird that you mention sharing explicit photos, because that’s something that didn’t happen. If we’re to believe OP, that is.
Flip side: how would you feel if you shared your most vulnerable, intimate moments with one trusted person, only to realise that you’ve been recorded, shared around and commented on in a group chat full of acquaintances?
Can you see how Derek just delivered karmic justice?
I’m not saying it’s not awful, but I still think that publicly telling everyone is inappropriate. Derek basically did the same thing as them.
So it’s okay for the group to bully people, but not for Derek to expose it? Weird line, definitely a red flag…
If, in my home me and my friends are sharing sensitive info about past relationships and other actions that can embarrass or hurt people, then exposing that is for the best. I mean where is the limit, if you’re invited to a chat where they’re massively racist and sexist, do you think that deserves to be exposed or do you just keep everyone’s dirty secrets no matter what?
idk i’d probably leave, and if anybody ever asked me about i’d say i didn’t like it. If i saw concerning behavior i would probably de-associate from those specific people. Not grenade an entire friend group over it, that’s extra.
It’s not my place to manage friend group politics.
Doing literally nothing when you see shitty behavior is almost as bad as the shitty behavior itself. Stop letting people you know get away with being pieces of shit - call them out. Ignoring it simply enables more people to ignore it, and the behavior slowly becomes more and more socially acceptable.
yeah idk call me schizo all you want but i’m not huge on being friends with someone willing to drop everything to make me look the worst fucking person possible.
Derek did literally everything possible to cause fallout here, he really didn’t need to go that far.
It’s not hard to not be a shit person. That includes in private.
Derek did nothing wrong.
How do you know that?
Easy, by having an inflated ego and a holier than thou attitude! 👍
I think that’s obtuse, comedy has no limits: As long as you don’t act upon uncomfortable / morally reprehensible ideas you joke about, you aren’t any worse or better than if you had never joked about it. I would argue that exposing a bunch of people for what they joke about with no evidence that they’ve actually done something wrong is far worse than joking about offensive subjects. (one has zero negative affects, the other has many)
(I must say I disagree completely with that guy sharing messages from his girlfriend- that piece is very weird and a total breach of trust)
Keep in mind the source of this story. The author has every reason to describe the stuff on their group chat sound tame, so if it sounds bad, it’s probably 3 times worse than that.
(I must say I disagree completely with that guy sharing messages from his girlfriend- that piece is very weird and a total breach of trust)
My impression from the original post was that kind of stuff was what drove most of the fallout. Leaked off color memes aren’t going to ruin people’s relationships, but leaked shit talk or breaches of someone else’s privacy will.
but leaked shit talk or breaches of someone else’s privacy will.
shit talk and leaking messages is pretty bad, but that’s really common these days unfortunately. I wonder how frequently texts like that are shared between female group chats. Depends on the person, and the group, but they are just more connected.
Speaking ill of someone not present to defend themselves is commonly in bad tastes, imo. Commonality of occurrence certainly doesn’t make it any less wrongful. I don’t think it’s a gender specific issue based on the story being about guys doing this.
i’m not saying it is, but from what i understand women tend to have a more cohesive social group, and tend to talk about things between them a lot more, so it would reason that there is a larger chance of stuff like this breaking out into that conversation.
Men just don’t really talk about their personal lives all that much. And when they do it’s usually shitposting.
Speaking ill of someone not present to defend themselves is commonly in bad tastes, imo.
to be clear, i would generally agree with this, unless it’s understand to be venting/not seriously considered. It might be weird in the latter half, but it’s a lot less rude if it’s an inside joke specifically among a group of people.
I don’t think it’s a gender specific issue based on the story being about guys doing this.
and to be fair, if we’re going full gender difference analysis, i think guys are a lot more likely to have a group chat like this, than women, so there’s that.
To narcissists, everything is someone else’s fault.
Is the person who made the comments a narcissist, yes. Is the person who screen shorted it and shared it also a narcissist, absolutely.
“Hmmm should I expose all the offensive photoshops and derogatory things they did said about specific people?” No that’s not narcissist by itself.
They hurt everyone else involved intentionally do to a sense of self richeousness. It’s a textbook definition of narcicism.
If someone calls the person they are going through a breakup with a self richeous dingbat who likes to tear down everyone around them in a private chat it’s not a nice thing to do. It also didn’t hurt that person until Derek brought it to their attention in an attempt to hurt the speaker while upsetting/hurting the person who was called names. Especially digging up things from years ago. These people aren’t running for office, they are kids dealing with life in a place of privacy. The number of people I’ve heard call soneone a little dicked asshole who isn’t good in bed is around 50. Never once would I think spreading that information to them or their friends group would be for the greater good. The person is hurt and lashing out. It’s often best to let them recover and sort out their own situation. If they were making plans to harm someone that’s another story, but that isn’t what happened here it appears.
At the point of sharing photos and Photoshopping someone to ridicule them, this isn’t an offhand comment said in frustration. This is planned and executed ridicule and mockery. He’s exposing them because he thought their “friends” should know who they are and what they are doing. Not for the intent of “hurting everyone else involved intentionally due to a sense of self righteousness”. Whether you agree with what he thought or not, it’s not narcissism (by itself).
It’s also super bizarre that you want privacy for them when they are fucking sharing photos (the context reading they were private) and sharing “raunchy texts”. Where was the privacy for their victims huh? They deserve what they got.
At the point of sharing photos and Photoshopping someone to ridicule them, this isn’t an offhand comment said in frustration. This is planned and executed ridicule and mockery.
i mean, we also don’t know what they are. It could be really bad, but it could also be harmless shitposting among the community.
You can look at the descriptors they chose to use, and that’s very likely playing it down big time. I’m betting it was extremely bad.
yeah, but we also don’t know what they are posting, so it’s equally shitty to assume that what they are posting is substantially bad.
Though assuming by the fallout, it seems like it was pretty bad? But then again i’ve seen friend groups break up over smaller shit.
Don’t talk shit about people behind their back. It always has a way of getting out because it’s clearly how you feel when their is no filter in place.
I used to talk shit people to their face and compliment them behind their back. Thought it was cool. Anyways, didn’t work at the workplace.
It’s better to say ‘‘Yes’’ and fail then to say ‘‘No’’ and succeed. Presentation is everything in a workplace.
It’s better to say ‘‘Yes’’ and fail then to say ‘‘No’’ and succeed. Presentation is everything in a workplace.
LOL yeah that’s how you end up with more work responsibility for the same pay. Fuck that.
Join a union and say “no” without fear.
One good tactic for this is when someone asks you to do something, say yes, but give them the next step action items.
If I had to explain some of my in-group chats, it would be complicated and awkward, but not life-destroying.
I think my saved memes are 50/50 funny and concerning
The thing is, on Lemmy these are pretty normal… but for my very conservative grandma who hardly understands what a lesbian is…
Ah yes, “cocksucker” as the first insult to come to mind, the sign of a good person
Why is “cuntlicker” not also a common insult? #equalrights
They should both be high compliments imo
I agree, you cocksucking cuntlicking fatherfucker.
I‘d say fatherfucker is still derogatory - after all, it’s still incest. Fatherhugger? Manhugger?
Well, I don’t think Motherfucker should be considered derogatory.
I don’t think incest is implied. Most fathers of 2 kids are Motherfuckers.
You are completely right
what about it?
It implies that for a man, sucking cock (a legitimate sexual act for any gender) is an insult because that would make him gay. So Homophobic.
