I’m not sure I want to die of a heart attack if I live to old age. I thought maybe I’d use a gun to relieve my suffering so that everything would end quickly, but I’m too scared. Are there any recommendations on how to die without suffering or something like that? Maybe I should leave this world during a happy dream?
Or should I humble myself and go through suffering before I die?
I’m clarifying: it’s not that I want to commit suicide when I’m young or right now, no, I mean when, let’s say, I have one day, a week or a month left to live suffering from an illness, or I know that after a while I’m going to have a heart attack that will definitely kill me.
I’d say just try to make your last thoughts happy ones. Think about a happy memory
The idea of killing yourself because you may one day have a heart attack is bonkers but say you have some slow degenerative disease that’s a lot more understandable
I’ve had a NDE, it was calm, peaceful and I felt nothing but a mild sense of awe looking at what seemed to me to be a huge brightly glowing spark/orb that despite being impossibly bright didn’t hurt my eyes
To live is to suffer, you can’t avoid that but I don’t think actually dying is scary maybe if what leads you there is violent or painful that would be but actually crossing over? I don’t think that will be suffering
Pain, fear and suffering is part of life and we are very resilient. What may seem unbearable in the moment will seam like nothing once it’s passed. We endure plenty throughout life.
A heart attack is fairly quick. I would much prefer that to a long battle with dementia or certain cancers.
I’ve wavered between wanting to die in my sleep and not, but as of right now I’m back to wanting to be awake. Death is an experience we only have once. I don’t think there will be anything left to remember the experience, but it would be cool to experience it nonetheless. Even things that are painful can be fulfilling experiences, and death is the final one.
But there is no point in worrying about it until it comes knocking. What you can do today is prepare your final will, and make your resuscitation-request known, and opt into donating your organs - but knowing how you’ll feel about death once it nears is impossible.
You likely wont know when it is imminent, and you likely wont be able to reach for a gun when it does. Likely hospice workers will do their best yo minimise your suffering for you, so embrace your final moments when they come.
Whatever way death comes for you, take comfort in the fact that it happens to every one eventually, and has happened to countless others for a very long time. It’s a certainty, and it’s a design, so it’s definitely not something to be afraid of. As for the suffering part, that’s just the human experience. Your brain is more powerful than you think if you know how to control your thoughts. Mind over matter, everything happens at the mind.
So you’re saying that I don’t have to worry too much because the brain has enough masculinity to admit its end? It sounds logical, but how it will actually be?
I don’t know where you’re getting the masculinity thing from. I think what the person was saying was to try to make peace with the way life has always been for all living things. We all come into existence, and then we all return to the universe.
Were you scared before you were born? Of course not. Death is the same as that, it’s nothing to be afraid of. It’s what unifies every single living thing.
If you plan to kill yourself with a gun, drag a billionaire down with you. Make the world a better place for the next to come.
I will probably do the bathtub special
“Right to die” is a medically assisted death that is available in certain places around the world. If you can’t make peace any other way, moving to a place where this is an option may be the most helpful thing for you.
I like to remember what Tecumseh said
“So live your life that the fear of death can never enter your heart. Trouble no one about their religion; respect others in their view, and demand that they respect yours. Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life. Seek to make your life long and its purpose in the service of your people. Prepare a noble death song for the day when you go over the great divide. Always give a word or a sign of salute when meeting or passing a friend, even a stranger, when in a lonely place. Show respect to all people and grovel to none. When you arise in the morning give thanks for the food and for the joy of living. If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies only in yourself. Abuse no one and no thing, for abuse turns the wise ones to fools and robs the spirit of its vision. When it comes your time to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with the fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song and die like a hero going home.”
Personally, was considering a potent opioid overdose. Bliss out and stop breathing. The end.
I’m worried I won’t be able to convince the dealers when I’m 88 that I am not a cop.
Everyone dies. Only certainty of life.
As part of my job in the hospital I often interact with dying people and their families. Palliative care - caring for people in the last period of their lives, in the UK focuses on patient experience and patient priorities. We generally aim for as pain free and as comfortable an end as possible and have medication which can usually make this a possibility.
The dying process for most people is a lot like falling asleep. They get more and more sleepy and spend less time awake. Eventually they go to sleep and the breathing starts changing with bigger gaps between breaths and eventually the breathing stops.
If it’s done well it’s a peaceful process with minimal pain and agitation.
If this is something you are concerned about it might be worth talking to your doctor about it. We have the RESPECT process in the UK which is a guided conversation about things important to the patient around the end of their life with medical recommendations for what is appropriate (not every treatment is appropriate for every patient).
Even in the absence of right-to-die laws, from what I’ve seen with older relatives, once the healthcare providers know what’s what and divert you to hospice care, the drugs take care of the visible pain and, frankly, consciousness. These are generally practical, kind people who understand the odds and don’t want to see suffering.
I would suggest dealing with your death anxiety through counseling so it doesn’t consume your life.
In the comic “The Sandman” the personification of Death comes for a wizard who has managed to avoid her for 5,000 years.
“Well, I lasted 5,000 years,” he tells her. “You must be pretty impressed.”
She shakes her head.
“You got exactly the same thing as everyone else. One lifetime.”
Worrying about dying is a waste of time. Make the most of your life.
He’s not a wizard. He is just a ‘normal’ human who didn’t decay but died of an accident.
Hi deadymouse,
If this really is something that bothers you, perhaps you could discuss it with your GP? They should know what your options are and can probably advice you better than random strangers on the internet.
You seem to have misunderstood the question a little, I meant when you know for sure that you are about to die, in a day, an hour or even a minute from a heart attack, for example, or from hunger, but you don’t want to suffer from this, you want to make this process easier.
You don’t ever know for sure. I’ve seen people with “less than a day left” take months, and people fully healthy drop dead from completely unknown health issues.
Another person said it, but I’ll repeat: you don’t know.
People who provide hospice care will tell you that many people have a “good” day right before they die. After weeks or months of decline, they are suddenly lucid and communicative. Families think this is a sign of recovery, but the workers know it’s a sign of the end. The patient is normally gone the next day.
A good friend of mine died of cancer in April. He was diagnosed a bit over a year earlier, and he went through multiple windows of “you’re cancer free!” to “you probably have a month left.” And there were many days the pain was so severe that he wished he would die already.
Six months before he died, he’d tell me, “I think this is it. I don’t think my body can go on.” And then he’d keep going.
If people could tell, I think our culture and our medical systems would look very different.
I get the point, reduce the suffering when you’re at the moment. This is what I don’t look forward to as well, not death itself, but dying in whatever form it takes. But know that any suffering is also finite, even the long ones, and hopefully you can avoid the few longer versions.
But for now, live for the moment. You get one shot at this, so don’t spend it worrying about something that hasn’t happened yet. Enjoy life, observe the details around you that we tend to block out as noise. Find ways to record and pass them on to others.
To quote Hamlet, “There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so.”
Everyone has to do things they don’t want to, and dying is just one of those things. But wisdom lies in knowing that it’s not the thing itself that hurts you, but the wanting.
Best option is while you’re young do everything to ensure your country or place you live has an assisted dieing legislation that allows healthcare professionals help you when the time comes.
The drugs they can offer let you just drift off to sleep and you don’t wake up again.
