I haven’t been in debt for like 2 years now and I still tell myself that I don’t need to spend more money on food. I probably skip dinner (that I can afford to eat) 2 or 3 times a week because the only way I’ll eat something is if I pay for it.
I would genuienly suggest that you set up and maintain a 3 or 6 month emergency fund… literally as a psychological means of being able to actually feel ok about spending you can afford to spend, as much as for the actual finance sense.
Like basically, look at your budget, set an amount that always goes into that fund each month.
Once you hit the 3 or 6 month target?
If you have money left over after accounting for all other significant spending… it is actually ok to spend that money as fun money.
Then after that fills over, consider something like high yield savings account. Still pretty liquid, not very risky, but, it is still withdrawable, but but, you have the emergency fund now as a buffer.
I appreciate the advice. I could get fired tomorrow and be mostly ok for the rest of the year. But I don’t think I’ll ever shake the, “are you really spending $20 for a single meal? That won’t even give you leftovers?” mentality.
Damn. Well you’ve got more of a runway than I currently do, so you’re on top of things…
But yeah, I… was homeless for a while… took years to recover from the more acute PTSD type shit that left me with… I guess I’ve just got slightly different version of the long term hypervigilance scarring than you.
The ‘constant potential threat analysis’ variant.
One of these days, we will build a future that is not so bleak.
I’m lucky in that my hobbies and interests were able to secure me a decently well paying job and I don’t have any major ailments or dependencies (no kids or family to take care of beyond my dog). I’m certainly not “heterosexual white male” privileged, but I can’t say I pulled the shortest straw by any means.
Sorry to hear you’ve been in worse straights. I was on the brink of homelessness for a month or two like 2 3 years ago and the thought of living on my own or with people I am not compatible with was terrifying. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.
Somehow someway, man. That’s been the motto since 2018.
I can talk myself out of buying anything, and often do. Even when I actually need it.
Self-gaslighting. I don’t know if this is a superpower or a weakness…
Its literally a trauma response to poverty, its a kind of hypervigilance.
It can be a superpower in many situations, it can be a debilitating neuroticism in others.
I haven’t been in debt for like 2 years now and I still tell myself that I don’t need to spend more money on food. I probably skip dinner (that I can afford to eat) 2 or 3 times a week because the only way I’ll eat something is if I pay for it.
At least I’ve beaten the odds of obesity…!
… sounds pretty rough, not fun.
But, you did make it through it.
I would genuienly suggest that you set up and maintain a 3 or 6 month emergency fund… literally as a psychological means of being able to actually feel ok about spending you can afford to spend, as much as for the actual finance sense.
Like basically, look at your budget, set an amount that always goes into that fund each month.
Once you hit the 3 or 6 month target?
If you have money left over after accounting for all other significant spending… it is actually ok to spend that money as fun money.
Then after that fills over, consider something like high yield savings account. Still pretty liquid, not very risky, but, it is still withdrawable, but but, you have the emergency fund now as a buffer.
I appreciate the advice. I could get fired tomorrow and be mostly ok for the rest of the year. But I don’t think I’ll ever shake the, “are you really spending $20 for a single meal? That won’t even give you leftovers?” mentality.
Damn. Well you’ve got more of a runway than I currently do, so you’re on top of things…
But yeah, I… was homeless for a while… took years to recover from the more acute PTSD type shit that left me with… I guess I’ve just got slightly different version of the long term hypervigilance scarring than you.
The ‘constant potential threat analysis’ variant.
One of these days, we will build a future that is not so bleak.
Somehow, someway … it must be done.
The alternative is unacceptable.
I’m lucky in that my hobbies and interests were able to secure me a decently well paying job and I don’t have any major ailments or dependencies (no kids or family to take care of beyond my dog). I’m certainly not “heterosexual white male” privileged, but I can’t say I pulled the shortest straw by any means.
Sorry to hear you’ve been in worse straights. I was on the brink of homelessness for a month or two like
23 years ago and the thought of living on my own or with people I am not compatible with was terrifying. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.Somehow someway, man. That’s been the motto since 2018.
Keep tough.
I was at the pub the other night, they wanted $29 for a burger. I didn’t have it in me. It’s too much money for a burger.
In fairness, that is too much money for a burger.