Idk shits really crazy right now, and I think everybody is kind of dissociating to some extent.

It might not be that your friends don’t want to see you, but just that everyone is so overwhelmed that it makes normal feel impossible.

It’s just kind of like everything feels like it’s barely hanging on by a thread, and it makes focusing on anything very difficult. Then that turns into a cycle of fuck I forgot to reply to this person 2 days ago, I can’t just reply now like nothing happened. Then that gets added to the ever growing list of things you’re avoiding bc you didn’t even mean to avoid them in the first place

People are being ground up by capitalism and it’s easier to just look at tiktok or play Baldur’s gate than actually engage with a messy person.

I try to stay in touch with people but it’s hard. I’m also kind of an insufferable asshole, and I think some people leave because they’re tired of “capitalism sucks” coming up

If you haven’t accepted it by now then it is unfortunately a part of life. I’ve tried upholding several friendships with established connections that stemmed from the days I lived in my old state for 29 total years of my life. I’ve been gone from there for over 3 and a half years now and I just felt like we have picked the directions we’ve picked and this is where we are all going.

It’s quite sad honestly, because I know as much as I wish to, I’ve no hope of even visiting my old state. The traveling would be taxing and I’d only have a small window of time to see anyone anyways. I just recently allowed my FB to be permanently deleted which contained my local friends and I did that as part of the acceptance that we’re likely not to see eachother again. Because we all excelled when we’re all together in person.

I am under the belief that sometimes, friendships are meant to expire. When they stop doing anything for you and the progressing and building of relations grow to fade because we’ve held on to old memories that stopped being relevant. The hard truth is that at somepoint, people have to be let go. I have a harder time calling someone a friend when we go so long without doing anything with eachother or even communicating.

Technically some people may see me as the bad friend but honestly, I have tried to hold on to friendships where I knew that it had expired and I wasted enormous amounts of time doing that.

I realised in recent times that my friends, whom I’ve befriended since secondary school, grew in different ways. They garnered influences beyond my own, and in a natural fashion became different people.
This happens sometimes, and it’s not anyone’s fault, however the people we both became (keeping in mind I most certainly have changed, over the years, in the same light) had a polarising effect on our friendships.

So I called it quits, however with the intention of finding new friends. Being with the same people, at least for me, prevented me from properly engaging in circles which would suit me better by today’s terms.
Honestly it didn’t take too long, I just dived into social situations where I would more likely find like-minded individuals. I’ve made a bunch of friends since, and we already get along better than the ones I no longer speak to now.

Surround yourself with things you yourself enjoy, within a social setting, and you’re more likely to be around people there for similar connections. You’d surely have a lot more to talk about too.
Don’t be too upset about people moving on in different ways though, people grow and some people grow apart. Make sure you continue to grow, is all.

I think it’s an age thing.

As people get older they tend to distance from friends and focus more on partner and children.

So many people are stressed and overwhelmed with the combination of things going on. Life, the economy, slop drama dressed as entertainment by they parasocially watch, etc. that they’re too mentally exhausted to interact much anymore outside of work and the immediate people in their household. I’m dealing with the same OP, I’m very active, love going to many events, and am always up to chill over food. Even if I offer to pay for tickets to go to sports games, find some good comedy tickets, or it’s a beautiful day to be outside and do nothing but chill in a park with some food, it’s still more convenient for almost all those friends who were previously into those common things to just watch them while on the couch eating DoorDash which I’m open to join them in doing. While the real experience of that same stadium is just miles away and a couple of dollars (sports city but half the teams currently aren’t winners). For my city at least, it’s mostly the 50+ that are out doing things. Anyone younger is typically rushing through errands or commuting between jobs and home.

How old are you and also have you become a thing lunatic right-winger? Two of those are common causes for friends drifting apart. 1) if you’re in your late 20s / early 30s most other people are busy with their own shit and don’t have time to engage with the people who used to occupy their entire existence. 2) if you became an unhinged rightwinger spouting insane nonsense then people probably don’t wanna engage with you.

Likely it’s just you’re old now so old social circles close up

yea because they’re married and boring

yes, both of my closest friends have pulled away. one far less, one far more. we’re all good friends as well so we talk about each other since we care about each other. our mutual friend hasn’t spoken to us in months. i have sent them several texts letting them know whenever they want to talk to reach out. i tell them every so often i care about them and love them and am thinking of them, but nothing. we’ve known each other for 20 years… since teens. it sucks. i know what’s going on and i don’t.

the friend i still talk to has pulled back in other ways. we talk frequently but it isn’t about deep stuff anymore other than politics since we are compatible leftists. but i don’t talk about her life and when i try to ask it gets deflected or dismissed. not rudely, mind you, she just doesn’t go into detail.

i understand… but i’m still a bit hurt. i miss friendship; the ones i had before. i hope we all come back to each other.

in the meantime, i have also met new friends. i always enjoy meeting people.

I haven’t spoken to my Best Friend in 10 years, yet I still think of him as my Best Friend.

They are. The thing about being a person is that sometimes it’s hard to change who you are while people who know you are watching. Give them time, they’ll find their way back to you.

Yeah, I moved across the country so kinda my fault. I text with them pretty regularly so we keep up to date. I went on holiday with them recently after not seeing them for a year. We’re still really close but we can tell that our lives are diverging and that what we once had no longer exists.

I think its a thing now to surround yourself with people who makes you feel good. So if those people stopped talking to you, you probably didnt have a very meaningful friendship that felt valuable for both people. Thats ok, and thats how life is.

Actually most people we meet become strangers with time, as we change, they change, and we need different people in our lives at that time. Its very normal.

Work takes more and more and gives less and less every year.

I have changed jobs a couple times and honestly just lost interest in interacting with most people outside of my family. I am in the process of renovating a house by myself and don’t have the energy to go out and socialize with other so I just stay home.