Definitely an overreaction lol.
But why are you not sold on Gemini? I mean, does it even need selling? Does Gopher need a selling point? They’re both deliberately simple protocols that work basically only on text. Gemini itself was conceived as an alternative to the modern web, deliberately simple in most ways, but not as simple as Gopher.
You assume precedent, consistency, or ethics matter to the current people in power in the US.