Worst pirate ever, but also the best kind of person!

I don’t disagree, but unhappy to report I have the same power over either outcome.

Let’s wait 'til the shopping spree is over and break them the fuck up <3

I think I was able to bring the ‘at’ closer to the time, but I’m not sure it’s correct:

‘This can’t possibly be the same 9pm I used to start getting ready at for a night out’

I’m tempted to remove the ‘used to’ and just put it in simple past for brevity, but that would hold back half the punch.

This is one of my favorite types of discourse. Polishing jokes and grammar in the gravitas it deserves.