I hadn’t been of any help to her. We met up because I wanted her to help clean my apartment and she suggested that I could help her learn web stuff, but nothing had happened yet. Anyway according to Feynman’s “Surely You’re Joking” memoir, if you’re really trying for a date in that situation, you shouldn’t pay the other person’s share. It’s an interesting approach.
I feel like you’re underestimating yourself. You met for allegedly one job, she spilled upon another, and you turned out to be an unusually good listener upon such, with some actual, relevant tools that could help her.
For her, that might have been rather mind-blowing right there compared to all the shit she’d likely slogged through already, and then you gave her… let’s just say the WRONG vibes, for someone who was trying to break away from ownership and all that shizzle.
Put yourself in her place and think about how paying for the check likely came off to her.
She heavily wanted INDEPENDENCE from controlling men at that exact point. She was literally proving to herself via her meal choices that she could be an independent person, able to scrimp and pay for her own.
You unknowingly came along and shattered that for her.
(and I probably would have done exactly the same, TBF)
I hadn’t been of any help to her. We met up because I wanted her to help clean my apartment and she suggested that I could help her learn web stuff, but nothing had happened yet. Anyway according to Feynman’s “Surely You’re Joking” memoir, if you’re really trying for a date in that situation, you shouldn’t pay the other person’s share. It’s an interesting approach.
I feel like you’re underestimating yourself. You met for allegedly one job, she spilled upon another, and you turned out to be an unusually good listener upon such, with some actual, relevant tools that could help her.
For her, that might have been rather mind-blowing right there compared to all the shit she’d likely slogged through already, and then you gave her… let’s just say the WRONG vibes, for someone who was trying to break away from ownership and all that shizzle.
Put yourself in her place and think about how paying for the check likely came off to her.
She heavily wanted INDEPENDENCE from controlling men at that exact point. She was literally proving to herself via her meal choices that she could be an independent person, able to scrimp and pay for her own.
You unknowingly came along and shattered that for her.
(and I probably would have done exactly the same, TBF)