01:15 (AM that is, but using 24 hour time format doesn’t need AM/PM) here… zero sleep, listening to a bunch of depression music… :/
Living with family (family of origin, that is) but half of my family members are away… especialy mom…
You only learn to appreciate someone¹ once they’re gone… this time for 30 days… one day its gonna be forever… 🥺 (¹mom that is, Idk how to feel about older brother, still haven’t fixed the broken relationship since those series of fights about 7-9 years ago… )
Mom’s so busy with my brother’s marriage plans, haven’t have much time to talk to me. Idk what to even say on the phone… I just wanna hear her voice… I kinda have a panic attach if i don’t hear her voice or if she takes too long to respond…
I’m just feeling very suicidal rn
It’s been a rough few years for me. Loneliness, OCD, tinnitus, depression, and anxiety disorders have really taken it’s toll. I’m trapped in the middle of nowhere with no public transportation and I can’t drive a car to go socialize or meet people. I’m very irritable around my family and I try to avoid them most of the time. My mom takes me to work and back which I really appreciate. I hate my job. I hate working with the public. I don’t know what else to do. This is all I’ve ever known. For what it’s worth, many of us feel as you do. Here is my favorite song to listen to when i’m sad, if you’re interested. Hang in there.
I could have written this. Every single thing you are struggling I’ve struggled with as well. All of it can and will get better, I promise. Patience with yourself and the world is key.