I’m not clear what you’re saying the problem is. The fact that I tip because it’s expected?
Me choosing to follow the system that was in place well before I was born isn’t the problem. The law allows for food service workers to be paid less than minimum wage. If you don’t agree with that, petition the government or boycott restaurants until they change policy; don’t stiff low-wage employees.
They did their job, yet our government legally allows their employers to not pay them full wages for their work and instead depend on their customers to supplement their wages. If you had a job that was legally allowed to pay you under minimum wage because it expected you to earn money in addition to that, then I would expect you’d get tips too.
Until the laws change in a way that support food service workers better, I’m going to continue to do my part in contributing to their wages.
I meant a takeout counter like Chipotle or somewhere else that you order and get the food at the same time, not sitting and waiting for an order somewhere.
When I’m sitting down to a dinner, the bare minimum I expect is food served to my table in a reasonable time, drink refills, etc., but I tip for that service. When I’m at a bar the bare minimum I expect is to receive the drink I ordered, but I tip for that service.
Again, as I said, I would much prefer if tipping were not a part of our culture at all. But I alone will not change that just by shortchanging low-wage employees.
I worked with someone who changed my mind on this. She’d worked the take-out counter at a restaurant and she talked through the kinds of steps she took to ensure the meal was correct, containers were properly sealed, and they had utensils, napkins, sauces, and all the things the customer would need or expect.
Learning about the amount of time and care put in at that restaurant made it clear that it was a service.
I usually give 10% at restaurants with a similar service because of her. With takeaway restaurants where you just order at a counter, though? I generally only tip if the people working were super friendly.
I’d prefer to not have a tipping culture at all. But as long as this is the society we live in, I can afford to pay a couple extra bucks here and there to help people who generally make shit wages.
Many years ago I saw a TIFU on reddit about a person who mispronounced “banal” while on a call with many people. I will always be grateful to that person’s fuck up for correcting my mental pronunciation of that word, lol.
Isn’t that Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, not Frankenstein?
I’m sure you know this so I’m commenting for others.
Sodium chloride alone can really upset your stomach, and potassium “buffers” the salt in a way that reduces nausea risk. There are straight up condensed salt pills that work, but are more likely to make you sick.
I also didn’t eat a lot of salt in the past and had to train myself into it. In fact, when I first started seeing my cardiologist, I made a humorous list of all the conventional wisdom I learned wasn’t true for me.
PSAs: Salt is bad for you! Eat less! My cardiologist: Salt is good for you. Eat more. Like 7-10 GRAMS a day.
Popular media: Wearing a corset might make you faint! My cardiologist: Abdominal compression is good. Wear a corset, it’ll make you faint less.
Fitness guides: When you hit an energy wall, push through to build endurance! My cardiologist: When you hit a wall, STOP! You will pay for it if you keep going!
All health guides: The best drink for your health is water; always drink more! My cardiologist: Just water is BAD. Drink lots, yes, but be careful to balance it out with electrolytes.
Magazine headlines: Walking is the best exercise for health. My cardiologist: Walk if you can tolerate it, but that is not good exercise for you. Rowing, recumbent biking, and swimming are best for you.
Still makes me chuckle as I learn to listen to my body and not society.
Electrolyte drink mixes are my saving grace, and LMNT is my favorite brand by a long shot. I enjoy drinking LMNT while every other brand I’ve tried is a slog.
I try to have 2 a day in about 25oz of water each. Hot days with lots of activity, I may need 3.
I genuinely can’t imagine getting 5–10 liters of water a day, and I already drink so much more than most people I know!
My cardiologist called it “POTS or vasovagal syncope,” and said he could specify with a tilt test, but since he treats them the same he didn’t recommend the tilt test.
So I could just say “yes,” but instead I give a long-winded answer to say that it’s a technically undefined dysautonomia that I treat like POTS, lol.
I use electrolyte mixes, salt pills, and salt my food, with a goal of 7–10g of salt and 100 oz of water a day. It’s amazing how much better I feel when I hit both of those targets!
Oh? I’ve had this issue as long as I can remember. Teens for sure, probably before.
It’s actually gotten better as I’ve aged because I eat more consistently and now know I need to eat tons of salt.
This is the advice I was coming to give, with the addition of a specific possible group.
I know there’s a lot of the anti-religion sentiment on Lemmy (for many good reasons) but one community I’m familiar enough with to suggest are Quakers (AKA Friends). Quakerism is rooted in progressive values and even those who practice have a wide array of religious beliefs, many of whom lean agnostic or even atheist.
It’s one of the most LGBTQ+ friendly groups I’ve ever been a part of, and there is a Friends meeting in Columbus.
I hope OP is able to find a community that supports and loves him for who he is.
Lots of advice here but I haven’t seen anyone mention coding boot camps. There are free ones like FreeCodeCamp or lots of paid options. You can do these to learn or validate what you have been taught.
My company hires associate-level software engineers directly out of college programs and boot camps. They don’t expect people from these to know everything; you may not have ever even used the language that you will be expected to code in! But by completing a program you’re showing you understand the logic of programming and that is applicable knowledge.
Look for entry-level jobs and you’ll be fine. Even better, look for companies that intentionally hire from programs like yours. They’re more likely to have internal programs to help teach new-to-career folks.
I recently finished reading The Cult of Trump by Steven Hassan. It’s from 2019 and so depressing with how much has happened since then that’s not accounted for, but it was interesting insight into how people like that can accumulate a following. It might help answer your question.
My older sister had a boyfriend move in with her shortly after she moved out of my parents’ house. From the first time I met him I had bad vibes.
Fast forward maybe a year or so they were renting a house and adopted a dog together. His “job” was motorcycle racing, so my sister basically just covered all costs. When they broke up, they aligned on who would get what with parents as mediators. He kept the dog, she kept the TV, etc.
He moved out while she was at work and took the TV, but he forgot all his motorcycle gear in one of the closets. So he had to come back with his tail between his legs to get that after stealing from her. She got the dog back at that point.
General scumbag. My intuition had no reason but was right!
I did a bit of reading to confirm my understanding, which is that employers can pay below minimum wage when tips are regularly earned by that employee. So technically, baristas, fast food workers, counter-service workers, and the like could fall into that category, but since it’s not a cultural expectation that those employees are tipped on every transaction, I think it would be harder for an employer to justify the regularity of their tip earnings and therefore pay them less than minimum wage.
That’s why, in my personal practice, those tips are optional and based exclusively on above-average service.
When it comes to takeout from a restaurant, there are usually two types of places I go: 1) smaller, individually owned restaurants, or 2) large chain restaurants like the one my coworker had previously worked for.
In the first case, I leave some tip because it’s a small business and I’ve known people who own restaurants and realize how hard a business it is. In the latter, I tip because that coworker told me that her role was paid under the assumption of her receiving tips and I realized there is a service being provided.
Anyway, lots of people seem to be disappointed about my personal choice to tip some types of food service. I appreciate you engaging in a way that doesn’t seem judgmental or defensive.