Man, I had around 10 gigs of vintage mp3s that is created since the days of Limewire/Napster. Uploaded it all to Google Music and lost track of the external I’d had the collection stored on. Whatever, it’s all in the cloud now.

Then it wasn’t.

I really, Really, need to back up all of my Gdocs, just in case that service ceases to be.

(I wonder if ancient crunchy low bitrate mp3s will be an aesthetic, the way that dusty vinyl or worn out tapes are?)

Yeah, they want to be able to ‘People that look like This listen to This’ so that advertisers have more options when they are locking down commercials.

Alternately, a spritz bottle with a few meters of range loaded with cheap Cheyenne/ hot pepper powder water might keep them at bay?

I’m not a local. Pissed off spicy monkeys might need an unfortunate result.

‘Is Butterbean OK?’ -Johnny Knoxville

They ate themselves alive.

What brand of safe do you keep the dodo in? I have a thylacine that dashes for the door whenever I come and go.

You never see someone taking a shit while running at full speed. -George Carlin

Using Augusten Burroughs for their marketing was their first mistake.

I’ve got nothing to hide ;)…

Had TSA take me aside and X-ray my laptop for a good 20 minutes last time I flew.

To be fair, the laptop had a sticker that insinuated drug use, but it’s not like I had hidden a thousand doses of Mega LSD under the SSD (which it really looked like they were scanning for).

I imagine they asked you to power the baby off and on whilst they hid behind a blast shield.

I don’t have a child, but, were I cursed with one, I would abandon them in the Z drawer of the card file and let them sort life out, just like my sperm donor did to me.

Dewey Decimal or death.

The avatars smoked so we could walk.

There was this dumb ‘headset’ that retro enthusiasts loved that was just a big old Mah Bell phone receiver that plugged into your '00s era dumb phone.

Combine that with a High Quality landline phone ringtone and you’d be the coolest dork at the nerd party for approximately 5 minutes.

Look out! It’s going to fire it’s laser!

:A bunch of feral cats materialize and chase a red dot around your chest:

That’s how I made collect calls back in the 90s: I was also a parrot, back then. Your experience may have differed.

It honestly creeps me out that so many people don’t curate what they watch and just consume whatever ‘their feed’ puts in front of them.

Unexpected European Vacation quote.

They also embraced QR codes a decade or more before the West did.