• 2 Posts
  • 38 Comments
Joined 3 years ago
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Cake day: July 10th, 2023

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  • The thing that bugs me is how selective the study is. The amount of dads that were broken, took their life or were not far from it, and to pick one small study focussing on how mums were negatively affected by it is galling. It’s like studies on the impact of police discrimination faced by white men. Contextually an insane and insulting use of academic funding.

    It’ll be used to further rebalance the courts further away from shared parenting and the child’s right to access both parents which is a UN right and Scandinavia does far better. The experience for fathers is traumatic.

    I don’t envy you. Keep going, and even when things look bleak, keep going. Things can turn out positive, even against the odds and even with the most biased CAFCASS staff. Not sure it’s relevant to you, but I’ve heard Both Parents Matter (formerly Family’s Need Fathers) is an excellent charity for support and advice.

    I will say, not everyone can do academic studies. Some don’t have the qualifications, or lifestyle situation or credibility to do anything that would be any more than an online blog and with far less impact. It is more than fair for someone to comment on the studies shared. Isn’t that what this community is about?









  • Unfortunately, you’re wrong.

    Nobody cares about your stuff. Some care about the quality of their work, but they’re hard to find. Best approach is word of mouth. Find folk family, friends, neighbours recommend. If none, local Facebook groups are an option. Good trades folk come recommended by many.

    Secondly, here in the UK, we never pay up front. Best way to lose your money. Why work 100% of a job for 40% of the money, when you can work 0% for 60% of the money.

    Only exception is if expensive materials are needed. Usually you’d pay for that part up front if they’re legit and you trust them, otherwise, they can order the mats from trade place and you can phone up and pay them. It isn’t unreasonable to ask for an invoice. Massive jobs can be gated behind a 30% of money after x progrss, 40% after y progress and the rest on satisfactory conclusion. That way, they have incentive to work and finish. Only cowboys would usually demand most up front. How can you pay for something you didn’t receive and they didn’t earn?

    Never offer more money for correct work, state clearly what you want, and how, and verify that is in price. Verify, and check done correctly. If you don’t know correct way, ask someone who does or research / watch videos on YouTube etc.

    You’ll be less disappointed if you don’t let people walk over you following some bullshit philosophy only you believe. Don’t try to place unrealistic values on the world, understand how it works and learn how to operate within it.